Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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