i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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