East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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