the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
