I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
handjob tips. give me some.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
