did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
