He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
