how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
