Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
