Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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