There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
