pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
