I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
