I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
