Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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