Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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