also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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