Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
