I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
