peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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