yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
