after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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