so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
