Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize