"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
