I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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