she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do vagina's smell?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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