I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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