I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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