how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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