I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
