I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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