i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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