No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
