I skipped work to stalk him.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
