Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
