i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
