You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
