Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize