She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
