I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
