So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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