She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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