I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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