Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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