i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
