first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
