I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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