i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
