Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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