I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
