we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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