My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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