So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
