i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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