she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
