Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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