My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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