Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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