Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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